Two blondes were driving to Disneyland and the exit sign reads: DISNEYLAND LEFT. They started crying and headed home.
(HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA wtfff)
A bus full of ugly people met an accident and died. Before entering heaven, they were all given a wish. So the first person asked to be made beautiful and it happened. So the rest of them followed the same wish. When it came to the last person, he was laughing. The voice then asked, "Why are you laughing? What's your wish?" And the person laughed even harder, "Make them all ugly again!"
(HAHAAHAHAH what the shit ritee)
A blonde walks into a store.
Blonde: Can I get that TV in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
The blonde goes and put on a brunette wig.
Blonde: Can I get that TV in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
The blonde goes and put on a redhead wig.
Blonde: Can I get that TV in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
Blonde: Damn it! How do you know I'm a blonde?
Shopkeeper: That's not a TV at the corner. It's a microwave.
I accused my brother of being gay yesterday.
He got so angry he hit me with his purse.
(HAHAHAHAH DAMN STUPID)
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell in love, she broke it.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps on the weighing scale, my phone number appears.
*Genie appears!*
Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes. What's your first wish?
Man: More wishes!
Genie: You can't wish for more wishes.
Man: More genies!
Genie: Oh. Fuck.
Yo mama so fat that her bellybutton got home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama so fat that people jog around her for exercise.
Ahhh omg damn funny! *wipes tears* Nothing better than having a good laugh. :)
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